When God's "Good" Doesn't Look Good to Me

Have you ever received a promise from God that seemed to contradict your reality? Maybe you've read Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" - while going through a devastating season of life. You look around at your circumstances and think, "God, if this is Your idea of 'good,' we need to talk."

Think about camping for a moment. Some people love it - the fresh air, the campfire, sleeping under the stars. Others of us see nothing appealing about going out and pretending you're homeless for two or three days. Now if you've got a Winnebago with air conditioning and satellite? That's a different story. But a tent? No thank you.

Or consider country music. Some people think it's wonderful, while others find it horrible. Then there's the divide between old country music lovers who think the new stuff is complete garbage.

We can look at the exact same thing and have completely different opinions about whether it's good or not. I love Taco Bell - I could eat it every day and have points racked up on my app. But my friend James will take anything but Taco Bell. When we stopped for food after a game, he said, "I'll take anything but Taco Bell." You know what we did? We pulled into Krystal's instead. I got my gut bomb, and James got what he wanted.

Whose Definition of "Good" Are We Using?
This verse - Romans 8:28 - is one of the most quoted in Christianity, and for good reason. It offers hope in difficult times. But like many popular verses, it's also frequently misunderstood. The problem isn't with God's promise - it's with our definition of "good."

When Paul writes that "God works all things to the good of those that love him," whose version of good is he referring to? Because in our humanity, we can both look at the same thing and have two totally different opinions about whether it's good or not.

Understanding Romans 8 in Context
Paul wrote Romans as his masterpiece. In it, he covers key things essential for our Christian faith - what it means to know God, how to become a follower of Jesus, the cost of following Jesus, and the good news of following Jesus.

But Romans 8 is the highlight reel. The theologian Donald Barnhouse once said, "If you're a Christian, if you were to drop your Bible, it should automatically open up to Romans 8 because you spent so much time there."

Romans 8 opens with "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). Paul talks about how we can do nothing to earn our salvation, the battle between flesh and spirit, and how "the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead now lives in you" (Romans 8:11).

He tells us we've been adopted and can call God "Abba Father," making us co-heirs with Jesus. Then in verse 18, he says something powerful: "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth even comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Later, he declares, "If God is for us, who then can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).

Romans 8 closes with the reminder that "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39).

All that powerful content sandwiches our verse about three-quarters of the way through: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

God's Definition of "Good"

So what is God's definition of "good"? The answer comes in the very next verse:
"For those God foreknew, he also chose to be conformed to the image of his son" (Romans 8:29).

There it is. God's definition of good for your life and my life is you and I becoming more and more like Jesus. Good isn't necessarily a comfortable life. Good isn't that we get everything we want or pray for.

If I'm being honest, we don't really know what we need. Two verses before our promise, Paul says, "In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. Because we don't know what we ought to pray or ask for" (Romans 8:26).

Can you imagine if God gave us everything we prayed for? Remember the movie Bruce Almighty? There's that scene where Bruce is hearing all these prayers coming in like emails, driving him crazy. He tries different filing systems, but finally gets so overwhelmed he hits "select all" on the prayer emails and types "yes," answering everyone's prayer with yes and hitting send.

Chaos breaks loose! There are more lottery winners than ever before. There's a woman running around saying, "Hey, I lost 46 pounds this week on the Krispy Kreme diet!" If everyone got exactly what they prayed for, chaos would happen in the world. We think we know what we need, but in reality, we have no idea.

When God Permits What He Hates
Joni Eareckson Tada's story illustrates this principle powerfully. She grew up very athletic - her parents and sisters were all athletic, and she was an avid swimmer. But on July 30, 1967, at the age of 17, she dove into the Chesapeake Bay, not realizing how shallow it was, and suffered an injury that left her a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the shoulders down for the rest of her life.

During her rehabilitation, she experienced anger, frustration, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. She writes about being "fresh out of the hospital, barely out of my teens, sitting at our family table with my friend Steve Estes with our Bibles and sodas." Steve had heard she was having hard questions about God and her broken neck.

"I always thought that God was good," she said to him. "But here I am, a quadriplegic, sitting in a wheelchair, feeling more like his enemy than his child."

Then one night at the dinner table, Steve leaned in and said twelve words that would change her life: "God will permit what he hates to accomplish that which he loves."

I want to be clear: God does not cause bad things to happen. He doesn't give someone a sickness or disease. He doesn't make someone a quadriplegic or cause accidents. But when life shows up in those ways, God is somehow able to use them for good.

Joni, now 75 years old, has said this was the greatest thing that ever happened to her because in that tragedy, she found salvation. She says, "I would rather be in this wheelchair knowing God than on my own two feet not knowing him."

God Works All Things Together (Synergy)
When Paul says "all things work together," he uses the Greek word "synergeo" - where we get our English word "synergy." Synergy means combining different elements to produce an effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.

I love salt. I salt everything - even watermelon, which my friends in Mexico found weird. But do you know what salt is made of? Two ingredients: sodium and chloride. Both elements on their own are toxic and poisonous. But something happens when they get mixed together - synergy.

The bad things we face in life - health issues, devastating losses, unexpected tragedies - on their own can become toxic and poison how we see the world. But God can take those things that are toxic individually and mix them together through synergy to create something not just good, but beautiful.

God wants to take the toxic, the brokenness, the poisonous, the pain - things that when you look at them individually, you see anything but good - and make something beautiful out of them. I don't know how he does it. I have no clue how he does it. And if I'm being honest, there are some things that have happened in our life where I'm still waiting to see how this is good.

God Is Developing Us
When you're going through the bad and can't see anything but the bad, remember: God is developing you.

You ever put something in the microwave for one minute and stand there waiting? That seems like the longest minute of your life. You're watching that timer, waiting and waiting, thinking "Come on, it's supposed to be a microwave - quickly!"

We live in a Walmart one-hour delivery world. I can place an online order from Walmart and have it at my house within an hour. I even get text updates: "Your order has been received... Your order is being put together... Your order has left... Your order is almost there... Your order has arrived."

Don't you wish prayer worked like that? You pray a prayer and get a text: "Prayer has been received... Your prayer is being organized right now... Your prayer request is on the way... Prayer has arrived."

I wish I had some kind of timeframe. I can wait if I know how long I have to wait. But here's the problem: if God gave us a timeframe, we'd find something else to do while waiting instead of staying in the process and allowing Him to produce something in us.

Sometimes we look at things that have happened in our lives - maybe there's addiction in your story, divorce, abuse, abandonment - and we're watching and waiting for God to do something. "God, this doesn't look good. I'm trying to see the good, but I just can't." You can't see it right now because you are being developed.

Here's something somebody needs to hear: what God allowed in one season might not be redeemed or able to be seen until long after that prayer was prayed. In some cases, it may not be seen by you ever - it may not become clear until after you're gone.

The development you're going through right now is not just for you. The development you're going through is going to shift something generational that you grew up with, so your kids and grandkids won't have to fight the same battles you fought. You're breaking a generational curse by choosing to stay in the development process where God is doing something in you.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 reminds us: "He has made everything beautiful in its time. And he has also set eternity into the human heart. Yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to the end."

Life Application: Seeing God's Good in the Bad
Joseph's story in Genesis perfectly illustrates this principle. His brothers plotted to kill him (bad), sold him into slavery (bad), he was falsely accused by Potiphar's wife (bad), thrown into prison for doing the right thing (bad), and forgotten there for years (bad).

Yet at the end of the story, Joseph tells his brothers: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20).

Joseph was able to say, "All the bad things that happened to me - my brothers hating me, plotting to kill me, selling me into slavery, being falsely accused, spending years in prison - those were bad. But God was able, through synergy, to make something beautiful."

Next Steps:

Redefine "good" - Ask God to help you see "good" as becoming more like Jesus rather than just having comfortable circumstances.

Look for the synergy - In your difficult situations, ask: "God, how might You be combining these toxic elements to create something beautiful?"

Trust the development process - Remember that what God is developing in you may be generational, breaking cycles for your children and grandchildren.

Stay in the process - Don't check out during the waiting seasons. God is producing something in you during the development time.

Remember Joseph's testimony - When facing hardship, remind yourself that what others (or circumstances) intend for harm, God can use for good.

What looks like a devastating setback to you might be God's setup for something beautiful. I cannot even begin to fathom what God has done or is doing, but I know this and cling to it even when I don't understand: He is able to make all things work for the good because I love Him.