The Silent Gift of Grief: Finding God's Presence in Our Pain

Have you ever thought of grief as a gift? It may sound strange, but in the midst of our deepest sorrows, grief can be a pathway to healing and a reminder of God's nearness. As someone who has recently walked through the valley of loss, I want to share some reflections on the silent gift of grief.

Two weeks ago, my wife and I received devastating news. Our son Zion texted us late one night, asking for prayer because his wife's water had broken at only 27 weeks pregnant. Hours later, we got the call that no grandparent ever wants to receive - our granddaughter had passed away shortly after an emergency C-section.

In the days that followed, we cried with our son and daughter-in-law, sat with them, listened to them, and tried our best to console them. We attended our granddaughter's funeral and helped dig her tiny grave. To say that grief has been with our family is an understatement. It has been filled with prayers and questions.

As I've processed this loss, I've been reminded that no one is immune to grief in this life. Jesus himself told us in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble." The Greek word used there means "affliction, anguish, pressure, distress or oppression." We will all face seasons of profound loss and sorrow.

But here's an important truth I want you to grasp: If you don't talk it out, you will end up taking it out on yourself or someone that you love.

Grief as a Gift

So why should we look at grief as a gift? Let me offer three reasons:

1. Grief reminds us to prioritize things
Grief causes us to reevaluate what truly matters in this fleeting life. It reminds us that tomorrow is not promised, so we need to make the most of each day we're given.

2. Embracing grief gives you a pathway to healing
Our bodies were created with built-in outlets to process sorrow. When we embrace sadness and allow our bodies to express it in healthy ways, it puts us on the road to healing.

3. Grief gives us the opportunity to see how close God really is
Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." In our grief, we have the chance to experience God's nearness in a profound way.

The Power of Processing Pain Together

One of the most important factors in how we navigate grief is who we allow to walk alongside us. A study on trauma survivors found that the number one indicator of those who came through trauma thriving, with more joy and peace, was the people in their lives - friends, family, pastors - who were willing to process the pain with them.

I witnessed this firsthand as friends and family rallied around my son and daughter-in-law in their darkest moments. They spoke life, offered comfort, and reminded them of God's goodness even in the midst of unexplainable loss.

Jesus Weeps With Us

We see a beautiful picture of this in John 11, when Jesus arrives after the death of his friend Lazarus. Even though he knows he's about to raise Lazarus from the dead, the Bible tells us that "Jesus wept" (John 11:35).

Why did Jesus cry, knowing the story wasn't over? I believe it's because he saw the devastation that sin and death had brought into the world he loved. He wept with Mary and Martha in their grief.

This tells us something profound - just because we know God will ultimately make all things right doesn't mean we don't grieve. We still cry. We still mourn. And Jesus weeps right alongside us.

Allowing Ourselves to Feel

Here's a crucial truth: God can't heal what you're unwilling to feel. Some of you have experienced losses that you've never fully processed. You've numbed yourself or hardened your heart as a defense mechanism. But until we allow ourselves to feel the full weight of our grief, our healing will be stunted.

God is calling you to draw near to him in your sadness so that he can grieve right alongside you. As 2 Corinthians 1:3 tells us, he is the "Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." The word for compassion here literally means "to suffer alongside of or suffer together with someone."

Putting It Into Practice

If you're walking through grief right now, here are some practical steps you can take:

1. Allow yourself to feel. Don't rush past the pain or try to numb it. Bring your raw emotions to God.

2. Talk it out. Find trusted friends, family members, or a counselor who can help you process your grief in healthy ways.

3. Draw near to God. He promises to be close to the brokenhearted. Pour out your heart to him, even your questions and anger.

4. Remember it's a process. Grief comes in waves and takes time. Be patient with yourself.

5. Look for glimpses of grace. Even in our darkest valleys, God is present and working. Ask him to open your eyes to see his hand.

As you navigate the silent journey of grief, may you experience the comfort and nearness of the God who weeps with us. Though the pain is real, he promises to walk with us every step of the way.

-PK
Lead Pastor